


Apology in Ink

by GinnyK



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s02e19 Bad Moon Rising, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-31 04:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15111704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: Post ep toBad Moon Rising.





	Apology in Ink

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Bring it on? Good God, do we really need that as a motto? I mean, I get the point but isn't "Bring it on" the name of some cheerleading movie? Whatever.

It's quiet now, quieter than things have been in a while and much quieter than things will be in the near future. I can't believe my world is about to come crashing down around me. I wish Abbey were here. Even though we disagree on just about everything right now, I need her. I need her to hold me, to wipe away my tears and to tell me everything will work out. Even though I have little faith that things will work out for the best. And what is the best, another term, finish this one and fade out of the public eye, resign with some dignity or stay until the bitter end? I honestly don't know at this point. 

But I do know one thing. And it's been bothering me for about an hour now. 

I think in my conversation with Charlie, I came across as hostile and well, just plain mean. I didn't do it on purpose and I'm reasonably sure he didn't take it personally but it's bugging me just the same. Talking to him would probably be a good idea, but I told him to go home a while ago. Stuck his head in, as usual, when I bellowed. There was just something about the way he looked. Something in his eyes. Hurt, pain, disappointment, weariness. Probably some of all of those things. I know I am to blame for the way he looked. I feel like I've yelled at one of my kids. Because I love him as if he were one of my kids. 

Maybe a note, could email him, but that would involve, well, knowing how to use the computer. And it's already late; I don't have time for that. So, good old-fashioned pen and paper will have to do. 

Charlie, 

I've been thinking about our conversation. I want to apologize for how I came across when we were talking outside earlier. I'm afraid my words might have come across as hostile. They might have led you to believe that I thought you were scared of me, when in reality, I know you are scared for me. Not only for me, but also for my family, for everyone else here and for our future. 

After my initial anger at her for doing so, I can honestly say that I am glad Zoey told you about my MS. Having an extra pair of eyes looking out for me was/is probably a good idea. I'm sure my wife agrees with that. Thank you for keeping that knowledge to yourself. You will not have to do that much longer. The staff will be told very soon and plans will be made to go public with my condition. 

Like I said, I will never doubt your loyalty to me or your love for me. After mentally reviewing our conversation I'm not too sure you feel as confident in my loyalty and love for you. Believe me when I say, I love you like a son and my loyalty towards you is unwavering. 

The thought of you lying to protect me is something that should have never crossed my mind. And it certainly should not have crossed my lips. Because, above everything else, you are a young man of considerable integrity and discretion. As deep as your feelings for both my family and I are, I know you would never lie under oath. And I am sure in the next few weeks you will spend a considerable amount of time under oath. For that I am truly sorry. These problems are mine and mine only. By keeping things a secret I had hoped to spare those I love any distress. But as my plans have been know to do, this one has come back to bite me in the ass. The only thing I ask of you is to be honest, to me and most of all, to yourself. 

Things are going to get worse around here before they get better. People are going to be saying some pretty bad things about this administration and me. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Look out for Zoey and don't forget to look out for yourself. Please, if you need to talk, talk to Leo. I've already told him to keep an eye out for you. 

I know I should probably be saying all of this in person. But Oliver Babish just left and I really not in the mood to face anyone at the moment. Not to mention it is almost midnight and I hope you are at home getting some much needed rest. It's been a long day all around and the days are about to get longer. I apologize in advance for what you are about to be subjected to, it wasn't exactly in your job description. 

By the way, the new motto around here is "Bring it on". I explain that in the morning. 

Thanks again for your concern for me and for your quick thinking about the family medical history papers. Mrs. Bartlet signed them. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I'm not sure which, at the moment. 

I will end this now and try to get some rest myself. Thank you for all you have done for me. And thanks in advance for all the things you will put up with in the coming days. I want you to know that the love and loyalty you have towards me will be a bright spot in the dark days that are to come. 

Jed Bartlet 

Well, a little longer than I had planned. But I'm long winded and once I get on a roll, look out. At least Charlie is used to that by now. I'll just put this on his desk; he can read it in the morning. 

So, now I'll go back to the residence and try to rest. Something I have had problems doing over the past few nights. Maybe I'll ponder our new slogan for a while, there has to be a better one than, Bring it on. 

THE END 


End file.
